“Why do people want this much attention?” I was asked last night as my fiancé held up his cellphone revealing, for my viewing pleasure, the picture below. Of course, I just shook my head, laughed and commenced trying to dispel the likelihood of the actions going on in the picture.
“That isn’t real.” I insisted through half laughs, half scoffs.
“But what if it was?” he countered.
“It’s not.”
This time his challenging expression and quizzical eyebrows just stared at me.
It was that look of his that got me to thinking. What if it is? What would make a woman -a person- go to such lengths in pretending to show-off a mate, when in actuality all they showed-off was a creative set of decorative skills using inanimate objects? And then it hit me. A similar thing takes place when you post a photo (Facebook, Instagram, whatever) and after a few minutes allow pangs of regret to wash over you as you realize no one has “liked” or “hearted” your display. Except this time not only does the need for validation hound you but also, resting on your shoulders, are the pressures of looking like a spinster. See, it is one thing to post trivial happenings for the people in your world to view but it is an entirely different thing to seem like the proverbial woman that cannot “keep a man”, or “get a man.”
Here’s some fact. In direct opposition to the “catch and release” form of hunting is the “capture and keep” and really that is the “hunt” a lot of hunters, both male and female (predominantly female, in way of relationships) want. Despite race or class, this ability is tantamount to winning the lottery. The goal is to capture someone who gets you and who you get, through and through, and then to keep that person even once you realize that he/she really doesn’t get you, through and through.
That is golden.
Achieving that is truly the stuff of folklore, per current standards. And, (all BS aside) since we’re being honest, it’s really something to be coveted. It’s no easy work maintaining a committed, thriving, and supportive relationship that has both parties eager to reinvent themselves- when it is required; to be just as zealous to sully-up things in the old sack- when it is required. This is work a lot of Americans are not ecstatic about rolling up their sleeves to do. Still, there is this preconceived notion in our minds that being in a relationship completes you. And for a lot of people that notion is true, but for even more, it is not an easy feat. Even if you have parlayed relationships to pursue your career goals, ever-present in the back of your mind is the thought that you need to get your romantic life in order.
Young or old, no one wants to be seen as a spinster. Not even the girl desperate enough to dress up her pillow and present it to the world as her “babe”, chilling out for the night.
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